Hey! Put some Clothes on!

This is my bestest hat :-)

Only had 12 people left from the last route to disconnect yesterday. It was my last day to finish that route before getting in poop with the boss. Got em all done but one, that one was in a gated complex, which I couldn’t get in. Normally I’ll wait until someone goes in and I’ll follow them in. Hell, after 30 minutes I decided it ain’t worth it. Anyway, I got one left on that route and 93 left on this weeks route.

Okay, I know the first paragraph had nothin to do with the header. If I don’t puter down as it comes to mind, I’ll forget it. This ain’t no book so I am not going to proof read and rewrite. That is too much like work. Anyway back to one of the 12 folks I had to disco yesterday. I went to the door of this woman I disconnected to get the cable box. She came to the door with nothin on but a thong and it wasn’t one of those on her feet. She was a very nice and good looking black woman. She was trying to conceal everything and was doing a good job at it, staying behind the door as she was handing me her box. Had it not been for the mirror on the wall behind her, I wouldn’t have seen much. Made my day. :-)

Over the years I saw a lot of interesting and not so interesting stuff. Some of these people you want to yell at them “put some damn clothes on!” and some you want to say” oh yeah!” I had one lady, who lived in a high-rise apartment building downtown, who I think would strip down to her underwear every time I came by. I would knock on the door and she would take a while before answering. Long enough to put some clothes on or so you would think. She had a nice looking body but was a little mental. She told me that herself. I got moved from that area so she is not a regular anymore.

Every once in a while I’d catch a few women sun bathing in the back yards. You can see in a lot of back yards from up on a pole. More so than not the people I run into should be covering themselves because it ain’t a purdy sight. Especially the men. Come on guys no one wants to see your stuff unless it is some other homo.

I reckon if you are going to answer the door with no clothes on you should be sure there is no mirror behind you. Towels gape and come undone. T-shirts sometimes do not cover everything, at least not when you are bending over to get the remote. Your kids will lift up your dress, don’t be a Brittney Spears, and put some underwear on.

To bad about Saddam, I reckon his toes are a little toasty about now.

Tis The Season

Ho Ho Ho. I should have worn the Grinch outfit at work last week. I almost feel bad about cutting people off before Christmas…Almost. I did cut a bunch of them some slack and am doing the dastartly deed this week instead. More out of laziness than compassion though.

Friday I went to this house thinking I was going to get the equipment. Two guys were out in the front yard. I asked for the equipment because the past due was over $200. They started doing the jive-ass ebonic crap about cuttin folks off during Christmas. He pulled out a wad of money when he got through mouthing off and paid me.

I had a lady one year tell me it was my fault her kids were going to have no presents because she had to pay me to keep the cable on. Humm.. maybe cable should be eliminated from the budget, ya think?

I had another fruit cake call me earlier and gave me a postdated check over the phone. She called me three times after that for one reason or another. The last time she was in tears(fake?) saying an emergency came up and wanted me to disco her service and not cash the check. I went over to the apartments where she lived and cut her off right after I got through with the knuckle head above. I really think I heard a commotion going on from that apartment when I cut it off. I think it was a Mom or Grandma living with a worthless druggy son.

Most all my college kids are gone this week. Some are going to be sad when they get back and their Internet don’t work. The route I picked up yesterday was 190 deadbeats. That’s about 90 more that usual. My week is cut out for me. Hopefully some of them will get back in town before I cut them off and pay.




We had a very nice Christmas this year. It was a little different not having Granny and Jason here. Granny past away last month and Jason(oldest son) the weirdo is in jail. Chris(my youngest son), Mindy and the kids spent the night Christmas Eve and we opened presents Christmas day. Catrina(my oldest daughter) and my twin grandsons called me Christmas day. That was very nice. What more could you ask for?

I know I used the word cut way to much. I can't help it. It's what I do :-)

Sad news about President Ford

snow

Ok we got a little snow the other day. I don't do snow so I stayed home from work two days until the roads cleared up. I also didn't make it up North to my grandsons birthday party that weekend. I feel bad about it but I am such a wimp when it comes to driving in the ice. We had a hell of a time trying to make it home from their house one year when it snowed and I told myself I wouldn't do it again.

Thankgiving and beyond

I cleaned up my last route Wednesday to get ready for the Thanksgiving route. I knew I was taking Thursday and Friday off and I had to have it done by Monday because of payroll. Most people were gone Wednesday already so it was mostly quiet and easy disconnects. I started getting the calls Monday and Tuesday from people getting home from Turkey break. Of course some of them were already cut off.
Well it is Thursday and I still ain’t caught up. I reckon a lot of these folks spent their cable money for gas to visit families or perhaps for food to feed them. Whatever the reason I got boatloads of disconnect to do. I tried to catch up yesterday before the cold front moved in. The weather folks were wrong again and it moved in the morning. It was 50 something when I got up and 29 when I got home around 3:30. I took today off because of the snow and ice predicted for today. They were right about the ice. Not good working weather outside. There is a wind chill of 4.

No Politics allowed

I remember my dad told me once that he doesn’t talk politics or religion. I didn’t think too much of it at the time but I do now. I have been cruising blogs now for several weeks and have found some I liked for the writing ability of the authors. BUT… then they start spewing their liberal garbage and name calling. Differing on polices is one thing but calling the President of the United States names is another. If you want to do the politics thing then do a political blog. Sort of like the Dixie chicks vomiting their political views during a concert. Who wants to hear that crap at a concert?
Hey you Bloggers out there. Left and right if you want me to read your stuff leave out the politics shit.

another wonderful day

Yesterday was interesting. More excitement than all last week combined. My first disconnect was at some seedy apartments in the little town of M----. As I was getting my tools out of the truck I realized I was in the middle of a domestic squabble right there in the street. Lucky for me it didn’t turn violent and only resulted in name-calling and the couple went off in opposite directions. I really felt sorry for the two toddlers, which were with them, had to hear their parents fighting and using such language.

Some people shouldn’t have children. My youngest sister is one of them. She should have been neutered as a teen. Her oldest is more or less institutionalized, in and out of jail all the time. Her youngest, so far, is all right, but that maybe because she lives near my parents.

The next incident was a lady I cut off a couple of months ago. I knocked on the door because it was open and the pole was next to her house. Her bill was two months past due so I figured there wouldn’t be any problems because she just couldn’t afford the cable anymore. Not the case… She informed me she paid today and I was not going to cut her cable off. She said she called in this morning and made arrangements. That always raises a red flag because once I have the account there are no arrangements to be made. I asked her how much she paid and she said $50, which wasn’t enough. Then she said she mailed it. That pissed me off so we got into it a little bit and she said she was going to call the office. I thought for sure I was going to have to get the cops out here so I could cut her off. (The worse people to deal with and the most dangerous are the white trash women. My God they can be down right abusive and nasty) She came back with a nasty look on her face and said she had to wait for a guy named D-- to call back. I informed her D—was I and her face transformed immediately into something a little less harsh. Now she pleaded with me to wait until Friday am to get the rest of the payment in. I gave in.

I looked at her account when I got back to the office. The notes on the account said that the rep that talked to her explained to her there was no arrangement and the account was not accessed recently by anyone, which means the customer was a big fat liar. When someone pulls up the account it is automatically marked by the login, date, and time of the person pulling it up. Come Friday noon if it ain’t paid her ass is off.

The last problem child was a regular customer who always pays when I door hang her. I didn’t hear from her all week so I was kind of wondering what was up. There was a car in the drive. I heard the TV on when I went up to the door, that doesn’t all ways mean anything, I leave mine on to keep the burglars guessing. However, after I knocked, the TV got turned off or down. No answer but I could hear a child inside. I didn’t knock again because I know parent tell kids not to answer the door if they are not home. I went in the back yard to see how to get to the pole. There was access to it back there so I went back to the truck to get all the tools I needed. No one came out. I went back and climbed the pole and cut her off. On the way out of the yard she and her chubby daughter were there to meet me. “Oh can I pay you” she said. I said, “It would have been nice had you paid before I climbed that pole”. The chubby kid was blabbering about how the mom told her not to answer the door and how she told the mom it was a guy wearing a white hard hat. The Mom apologized and offered me a coke and blah, blah, blah … The whole time I am thinking of what a pain in the ass it was going to be to climb that pole again. I relented because she was a regular and knew I would be seeing her again. People hardly ever change their bill paying habits, lucky for me. Job security.

who would have known?

It would have been nice if someone told us no one needs death certificates any more. We ordered 20 at $10 a piece. Not one person or agency asked for one so far. Years ago everyone needed one or two copies. Also be prepared!!! We weren’t. Well sort of. I did research cremation and funeral home several years ago when Granny almost died. I really should have kept up with it. Doing it with time restrictions is unnerving. The hospital needed the name of a funeral home and the hospital chaplain said they all were priced near the same. He maybe is going to hell for being a big fat liar. I bought some time by saying my sister-in-law may want to see her and she was flying in today. The chaplain did call and get permission for her to visit in the hospital moruge before having her moved. Ok maybe he ain't going to hell.

There was up to a $1300 difference.Some were very nice and others were like used car salesmen. One of the places you could bypass the funeral home and go straight to the cremation place and only pay $500. That is how I want to go. Spread my ashes in the mountains of Tucson and I’ll be happy.

full moon

Still have 80 jobs left Friday. Not a good sign. That means I am going to be working my ass off Monday and Tuesday. I guess everyone spent their money already or are saving up to go home for Thanksgiving. My college town empties out Thanksgiving, Christmas and Summer time. Lots of disconnects.

I thought I was going to have more weirdoes because of the full moon but it didn’t pan out. Seems like when there is a full moon I have the most problem people.

I disconnected a lady Friday. She called Thursday trying to get the service in her name. She claimed she got divorced. Her name didn’t match her ex and she was claiming she was a doctor. The bill was very large. Anyway I told her I couldn’t do anything for her except to come out and pickup the equipment and disco the service so she could go down and get it in her name. I gave her my Boss’ direct phone # so she could ask the procedure for doing that. Well now she claims she was never married to the guy and his parents left her the house???

She didn’t call me back Thursday. I checked the account Friday AM and someone called in and raised hell saying they were going to sue etc. My Co. scheduled a Tech to go out and disco the phone Fri. I rushed out there to disco the cable in the phone box before the Tech went out because is easier than climbing the pole. Little did I know the good Dr. was down at the cable office getting the service in her name. Problem is she has to wait until the 15th to get it installed now. She called me at least five times trying to get me to hook her back up. The last call she was getting desperate and said she would do anything to get her phone and Internet back on because she worked at home. I didn’t call her back.

I have been offered a lot of things for free cable over the last 14 years but never took any of them up. Sex drugs and food stamps.

in passing

My wife's mom passed away Sunday at 0710. To much going on to post anything this week. I went back to work today for a little while. Didn't have any run ins with anyone. Had some weird calls though. I am sure I'll have to deal them in the coming days.

slow day

It was a slow day today, no irrates or bad dogs. I was down to around 55 dead beats to cut off when I started. I cut off about ten and another five paid. I quit around 3:00 so hopefully somemore will pay this afternoon or tomorrow, Saturday.

I did have a dog problem yesterday. The person I was cutting off had two vicious pitbulls however; the pedestal where I needed to cut her off was in the neighbor’s yard up against her fence. The neighbor’s dog was also a vicious little shit. It looked to me like someone was home but no one would answer the door.

I got my 6ft. ladder and a hammer(both for the dog) and went back there to cut the lady off. I had to hold the ladder between me and the dog the whole time. The two pit bulls were trying to get me through the fence and barking in my ear. The other dog kept inching its way toward me and looking for a way to get a piece of me. With one hand holding the ladder and one hand trying to get the cable loose, I finally got it off and put the terminator on. I never did get the dog pee covered pedestal cover back on right but screw it let them write me up.

By the time I got back to the truck I was pissed. The bitch I cut off came out trying to show me a receipt showing me she paid. I held my tongue and didn’t yell at her for not putting the dogs up but, I did remind her she had arrangements to pay in the office last Friday. She said she had arrangement to pay tomorrow (Friday) with D---. I looked down at my shirt where my name was and looked back at her. Ops caught her in a lie hummm. She only paid part of what was owed and then she got billed again over the weekend so she screwed up big time.
She didn’t say anything else and turned around and walked back to the house. She was a good looking girl and had a nice looking tramp stamp on her lower back. Man I love those things. Anyway she was another big fat liar.

When I first started this job I was very naïve about people. I retired from the military as an E-7 and had a lot of experience with people or so I thought. I didn’t think people could be so devious and big fat liars. But then again I deal with a certain type of individual. Now I assume they all are lying to me and most of the time I am right.

the begining

I am a bill collector for a cable company in mid USA. Also known as a field collector, retention representative and quite a few more colorful names by customers. I am the one who comes to the door and tries to get your money or cut your ass off. Cable that is. Ok there is a little more to it than that but that is the quick and dirty discription.
I should have kept notes on all the crap I have been through with this job for the last 14 years. I have had some scary and humorous moments. Most of the crazy people and criminals are not in institutions or jail, they are my customers.
There are at least a million reasons not to pay your cable bill and I have heard them all. Well, maybe not all of them, because I will hear a new one now and then. I had one lady whose Mom died a couple of times and was working on other family members by the time I was moved to another part of town. I reckon she didn’t remember it was I. All white guys look the same. I really had a person tell me that.
You have to change your tactics and collecting techniques with the different parts of the city and the different cultures. It was scary for me to work the black neighborhoods at first. I worked that area for a couple of years and got use to it. Except for the gangsters and a few bigots they are the friendliest group of people to collect from. I have laughed my ass off at different times from the older black women giving me hell or joking with me. I was all ways offered food and stuff. One time I was in a rather seedy area of town and a customer had me come in her apartment to get the converter box. There was three of them, all girls. They were clowning a round and the heavy set one grabbed my ass and said "I never had any white ass before". I got out of there as soon as I could.
Oh I just reminded myself of an incident that happened to me in that area near the capital. This was after I was moved to another area of town but I was helping out a friend who got behind. I was doing some disconnects for him. Anyway I was up a telephone pole cutting someone off and two cars pulled up along side of each other and all hell broke lose. Gangsters in both cars opened up on each other with guns a blaring. It was near 5:30 or 6:00 in the evening. Kids were out playing near by and folks were out on their porches like they do in that area. It was a wonder that the flying bullets hit no one. I got the hell down that pole in a hurry and left the area. I called my buddy up and left him a not so nice message that he could do his own damn disconnects.